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I’m going to share with you a story. My story. This moment in my life was one of the biggest inspirations behind my creation of The Robot Rebel. I was in my third year of college, and just recently pledged my sorority. I was LIT. A bright eyed, young, and ambitious woman. I had an open mind, heart and an incredible sense of self and direction… (or at least I thought I did). I lived off-campus in my first ever apartment. I had a brand new all black Toyota Corolla, sorority tag on the back, and beat in the trunk (not really, but in my mind I did, lol) I had an off -campus hustle, working at a dreadful call center taking customer service calls for satellite tv. Then it happened. The one moment that would SHAPE, ROCK, and CHANGE me forever. I fell in love with a man, who had other plans.

I saw him from across the call center floor. He was dressed in his fresh AF paraphernalia representing is fraternity. He had just crossed the burning sands ( for those who may not know, a.k.a pledging).  There was something about him that was just so intresting and magnetizing to me. I was drawn in with his smile, eyes and his overall energy. We crossed paths while at work, and I,  being “Miss Social Robot” introduced myself to him. I approached him with the biggest smile on my face and said, “Hey, congratulations on crossing your fraternity!” As I type this, I am realizing that I fell in love with him at the very moment. I mean complete love. I was all in and there was nothing that could stop me from falling. Your girl was gone! I know you don’t hear this much from a female perspective, about falling in love with a guy, but it happened to me. Soon we would began to sit next to each other at work. He would save my seat for me and his face would light up once he saw me . This eventually turned into us hanging out on campus, each other’s apartments and, even a few dates. He was a country boy (which I thought was the cutest and sexiest thing.)! His presence was very warm and inviting. He always smiled and kept a humble spirit. He was nice, courteous and had  so much ambition annd charm. We bonded over similar points of views, came from the same upbringing (single parent homes), and we both loved to laugh! We even shared the same zodiac sign of Gemini, just thought I’d throw that in there so you could understand the level of chemistry between us.

So anywho…things were going great. We sealed our relationship status to serious when he invited me to his hometown for the holidays. That’s right, I got the tour of his old high school and neighborhood.  Any girl who has watched all the romantic movies and fantisized about the day he takes you home, you can totally understand the excitement I was feeling in this moment. Imagine me, riding with my man (boo-ski, bae, honey, lol), it’s cold outside, and the city is lit with Christmas decorations all over homes and buildings. I ended up meeting his entire family. It was official. I in my mind, was his future “Mrs. _____.” I graduated from college a year before him, with him following suit, a year later. After being together for one year, we dated long distance for year number two. We called, texted, and I hit the road every weekend to spend time with him. My little Toyota Corolla pounded I-75 south more than the D.O.T themselves! I spent all of my time with him. He was always excited to see me and so was I. Honestly, he always welcomed me to come and visit and spend time with him, being that I lived in the city of Atlanta which was only three hours away. I had a full-time job (that I absolutely fucking hated), and because I hated it, I would always ask if I could come down to spend entire weekends with him. I would shop for groceries, cook dinner, and just get really excited to see him, spend time with him, and show him how much I loved and cared about him.

Ok, soooo… I know you are probably wondering… “WELL WHAT”S THE TEA, BIH?” Here goes. After two years of dating, I received a  call from my one of my soroity sisters with tragic news. One of our beloved sorority sisters had been shot and killed. I made plans to attend funeral services, and also arranged to stay with my boyfriend.  On this very weekend, not only did I lose a dear friend, sister, and mentor, but I lost ME. The day before the funeral services, I arrived Friday night to get over to my boyfriend’s house early. That night we went to grab a bite to eat. He was acting distant. His phone was ringing non-stop. Oddly, he took longer routes for a a trip that would normally be “three traffic lights and a straight shot”.  He pulls over at a gas station, hops out and finally answers his phone. He shouts, “Why are you following me?”, “Why are you worried about who is in the car with me?” I hear him from the inside of the car. I begin to tremble with fear. My heart is pounding and my foot is shaking. I say to myself, “How do I respond to him when he gets back in the car?” “What do I say?” “Do I pretend to not hear?” I was 23 years old! This was like serious relationship number two (just so you understand why I was so damn nervous). I had no idea what to do, or say. So I ran through all of the above questions in my head. That was the moment I began to fade away. In those long three to five minutes… began to shrink in size. I DENIED my voice. I QUESTIONED my value, I SECOND-GUESSED my gut. I NUMBED myself. I did not want to believe for one second, that the man I loved with every fiber of my heart and soul, had other plans. The man I loved had a secret.

Be sure to find out Part Two of the story and register your email to receive notification. Cause when it DROPS, you definately don’t want to miss it!

Rebel on,

A.F.

4 Comments

  1. Christy

    *inserts eye emojis* lol

    Reply
    • Antres Finnie

      Hi Christy! Lol …

      When I tell you there is power in the stories that help to shape you into who you are … Girrrrl. I am really humbled and grateful that something in my story was relatable. Always know this, “You are the person you have been waiting for.” That’s like one of my favorite affirmations. No one else or nothing else can love you more. Rebel on, and continue to stay up on game with The Robot Rebel –

      Reply
  2. Angela Carter

    Oh girl. That type of love got me into some terrible situations. I thank God for the grace he gave me during those times. Because I could have been very hurt, and very broken or even worse because of the shrinking I did in my youth.

    Can’t wait to read part two. Headed over there now.

    Reply
  3. Antres Finnie

    Angela! I mean can we just talk about the grace and protection God has on our lives? Even though I kept going with this unhealthy situation, I would not be standing here before you sharing my journey to help other women set free or at least plant the seed of the idea of #MoreLife. Thank you for your post! – Antres

    Reply

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