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This post is not the land of sugar coating and feel good thrills. This is honest talk, in what I would consider my rebellious voice. Somewhere along the line, I just really started seeing a pattern in my conversations, thoughts, and behaviors. This idea that we all must speak the same language and have the same sentiments as each other was becoming more and more common. I guess, I don’t know, like…within the past year I just got really bored. Bored with the “run of the mill” dialogue and expectations. From the dating life to a day with the “gals” , I just started to notice robotic experiences on repeat.

I posted a few days of “My Rebellious Thoughts”  on my Instagram page and wanted to share with you my complete list of thoughts. I was intitially going to post a thought a day from February 1st to the 14th, so since today is the 14th, here is the complete list, as I only got a chance to post about 6 thoughts, lol … Anywho, here goes!

1.  Texting Me Good Morning Love, is Not Poetry: Listen, you ever heard of the all purpose cleaner? Well, this is an “all purpose” text. My experience! He used it for the side chicks, the main chick, girlfriend, the list goes on. Shit use to make me melt though! Now, I’ll have to pass. I’m on my Goddess ish. There just ins’t anything to this text. It’s just blah. I love all my kings. Not a man basher. Just sharing my evolution.

2. Chipotle Is Not a Date: This one got a few folks turnt, ha! I am not saying there is anything wrong with Chipotle. There is nothing wrong with a mix of normal eateries and tasty tacos. It’s cool to change it up sometimes. What I am saying, is convenience has killed creativity. Shit even romance for that matter. Ain’t nobody been watching too many romance movies either. However, calling me up all the time and all we do is eat at your house or Chipotle, something is off. To each is own, but if bae is calling you with the “Aye you want something to eat? What about Chipotle?” all the damn time….I’m just not sure why that doesn’t bore you. There are so many creative and budget friendly options, how bout dah? LMAO!

3. Hating on Beyonce is a Deal Breaker: No explanation needed.

4. Asking How Was Work Today, Does Not Count as Conversation: Is there anything more fucking robotic than this question? Well maybe the other ones, “How’s family?” “What you eating?” “What you doing?” “What you wearing tonight?” Who cares! We got lives to live over here and we are holding it up with this elevator/water cooler conversation that bores the shit out of me. WIth so many topics that range from politics, sports, money, pop culture,self-improvement, love, shoot life in general, I prefer to not be held up with this boring ass conversation.  So please save the following answers: 1.Work sucks. 2.Family good. 3.Vegan living. 4.Moving towards a better life. 5. 100% cotton. Now what? Geesh.

5. So What do You Want to do? Whatever You Want to do It doesn’t Matter to Me: Twenty minutes of this conversation will drive me nuts. If it continues, with me saying “I’ll let you know”, I won’t. LMAO.

6. Calling me Bruh is not Sexy and That Includes Big Head Too!: Ladies! Ladies! Ladies! I know, we are the “new cool girls”. In these days and times we are all things. Smart, sexy, chill, laid back and, freaky AF. We are the homie and the best “fran”. But ‘”gahhh leee” If after I feed you, sleep with you, pamper you, love you, support you and, ride for you, are you really going to call me over to you with “big head” and “bruh”. I will pass on that one.

7. “I Miss You” & “Thinking about You” Texts are Silly: Just my preference of dialogue. I used to really melt over these. Like “Awe, this is cute.” Now, it’s like. “what do you mean by this?”, “what specifically are you thinking about?” “why do you miss me?” just saying.

8. Looking For “The One”: Probably one of the most puzzling philosophies: In this day and age you have to be open to different approaches or just try something different all together. For me, as a woman if you date to “look for the one” you are really missing the bigger picture. Dating is an exploration of yourself.  It is a way to really see who you are and experience different types of men. I don’t think most of us really know or even believe that there are so many various types of men with different experiences, morals, standards and dopeness. Keep your eyes at 360, and avoid tunnel vision. Besides, dating is so 2007. Where they do that at?

9. I Don’t Do Lunch, I Eat It: I just think that there are other ways to connect. Besides, eating in a social sense has not proven to be beneficial for my waistline, lol.

10. Haven’t Heard From You: Is that a question or a complaint? I just don’t know what to do with that comment anymore. It’s so weird. Just be easy. Chill. No one owes you anything. Stop putting people in a position where they have to explain or provide bullshit excuses. Live in the moment or just use your words and say, “I’ve missed you and we don’t talk much like we used to is everything cool?” See how super easy that was?

11.Takers: There is an insane amount of folks that just want to take from you to sooth their own pains. Take your time, energy and just soak it up. I prefer healthy relationships. One where both persons have something to offer each other. Killing time and dead conversation is just not something I want to do anymore. Purpose driven is my slogan for life.

12. Saying Yes to Things, I Really Meant to Say No to: Yep. I am really working on honoring my voice. All to often, I don’t want to go places that I am invited to. It can be easily assumed that we are supposed to all be intrested in doing the same things. As of late, not me. I actually don’t like to attend most things. But, I instead opt in. I go, to save face and keep the “bullies” at bay. I have to remember to always stay intentional in what I do, and not “just cause” or feeling like I “owe it” to someone. It literally eats away at my soul.

13. Happy Monday: Nope. Happy living. I can’t dedicate this to one day. I would like to dedicate it to all days.

14: Just Checking On You: I know, I know, I know, This is a nice gesture and most times people care and that’s cool. However, if I am quiet, it’s for a reason. I do like an occassional token of admiration though. Too much of it makes me uncomfortable, lol.

Just my thoughts. Which one do you agree with? Drop a comment below and share!

Rebel on,

Antres

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2 Comments

  1. Kimberly P.

    This post triggered my first heated argument with my love. In his defense towards the Kings’ robotic behavior, he explained to me that the Kings are conditioned to say these robotic things because its a way of keeping the Queens content or making them happy. Now I can honestly say my love is a rebel when it comes to the sugar coating robotic talk like Good morning texts have never been a thing for us. During our talk , I mentioned to him that the Good morning text generally does sweeten things up on our side (Queens). He took a jab at this comment by saying that women are never satisfied with a man’s efforts. Now he said this because he assumed that I was implying that I needed this robotic behavior on top of what he has done for me which was not the case. I am not a fan of robotic behavior but I have become accustomed to robotic behavior so much that I have been expecting it almost as if I want it. Deeper into the talk, I got tripped up in my own riddle here and told him he wasn’t doing enough. He asked me well what more do I want and I answered I do not know (Boo bot behavior). There was a complete silence after what I said because I confused myself and him. I couldn’t stand the silence so I made an excuse to hang up (my robot move again).
    I hung up out of anxiety which is one of my lemons. I am aware of my bad habit of running away from any argument because I am anxious it will get so much more intense that I will continue to express things I don’t mean and that I haven’t thought through and who knows where we can end up. IT instantly clicked to me a few minutes after I hung up that I didn’t need to continue to be a robot and that this lemon of anxiety needed to be squeezed right now. I called back as a rebel now to come to an agreement and lighten this up and sure enough he did same because WE ARE REBELS period

    It was so important for me to share this especially since the Lemonade event had made a great impact on me when it comes down to tapping into my lemons that influence some of my robotic behaviors. I used my “Lemons into LEMONADE” quotes as my affirmation that I do not use my lemons to keep me hostage in a routine and life on repeat due to fear or anxiety. Instead I am squeezing em’ to make lemonade that I will sip as I ride in my rebelution! 😉

    Reply
  2. Antres Finnie

    Queen you are my LIGHT! I totally understand what you mean by the “conflict”, even from your King. It’s a daily thing to examine. Being free is easy, living in FREEDOM is quite the challenge. Simple conversation is totally ok, “Good morning” texts “How’s work?” etc. are all ok. Where the question comes in to play is that all we are doing. Are we EXPERIENCING life? So yes, you both are right. I just always like to explore if I am settling in life. Be kind with yourself (which I know you know) and just let spirit guide you and you will be just fine! Love you lots & your King! – Antres

    Reply

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