Unfiltered. Mask Off. The truth about how I once was. These are selfie photos of me. I want to focus more on the lower right photo. This is a picture of me totally out of my mind. This was a photo of me about two or three years ago. I had just left the gym, and couldn’t for the life of me figure out why I was not happy. I had just completed a serious session of cardio and weight training, listening to all the Future, Drake, and Destiny’s Child I could listen to keep me motivated. I truly just wanted to find my happy place. The place where I could be redeemed from all the low self-worth choices I was making at that time.
During this time I would pull up to the drive through with the phone on mute if I was on the phone with someone. I would sleep all day long. Get off from work to eat, wrap my hair in a bonnet, and dive onto the couch to watch any and every franchise of Housewives, Love and Hip Hop, and whatever other entertainment I could put my life on hold for. This is a silent epidemic amongst single women who are having a hard time finding themselves. Fitting in and doing “what we are supposed to do” has killed the curiosity for a real life. Some may be wasting time in a situationship, boring job, or just overall unhappiness. It was one of the many definitions Jordan Peele would describe as a “sunken place”. I was falling into this crazy spiral of being content with doing nothing. Working Monday through Friday, eating out every weekend and considering staying in a dead end relationship.
So what was it? Depression. I was clinically diagnosed with depression. No need to go into why (food, relationships, blah, blah, which is all true btw). I just want you to know who I was once before. This is why I share what LIFE could be. It is important that I inspire you to think. Be more flexible with learning something new, and experiencing the joy that is within you. You are in there. Buried underneath all the denial, pain, and disappointments. These things have a tendency to keep you held captive in a robotic place. A life on repeat if you will. When you live robotically, you lack self – awareness, avoid growth, and may find yourself putting on a mask every day to just survive. I know it can be hard and things are not as easy said and done. I am here to share and inspire you to build a life that is fun and unshackled. The Robot Rebel is a space for a community of women seeking to break out of the many routines and roles we have taken on in life. Claim your seat on this ship. All aboard as we climb new heights in experiences, thoughts and conversations. You can do this! It’s time, and I am here to inspire you. Register your email to ensure you don’t miss out on our next experience together. I would love to meet you!