After this weekend, I realized that I am privileged to be FEARLESS. I could be doing the same thing over and over again living and hitting my head up against the wall. The life of a Robot: After graduating from college, I was unaware of just how much freedom I had. I was submitting resume’s, shopping at the mall, going out to eat, running after a cheating boyfriend, going on girlfriend getaways, lurking on Facebook, going to Homecoming to sit and stare at folks… just mindless behavior. I am sitting here thinking about that girl from college. Who exactly was she? I mean… who? I was so focused on “the list”. You know, passing grades, earning the degree, planning a career that no one judged, getting proposed to for the sake of saying “I got a man.” I mean I just became consumed with looking the part but not BEING the part. During this time, I did not grasp the concept or idea of “outside the box” thinking. Who knew it would be years before I understood, that the world, family, and society only shows you 1% of what’s possible. If you want to know the other 99% you’d better look beyond the very place you’re standing, throw away your plans, and stop worrying about what people will think.
People think you have to be “different” to live a life of abundance, and the truth is you don’t. You have to take risks and find out who you are. About three years ago, I started to question “What in the hell am I doing?” “Where is this thing going?” “When am I going to LIVE?” You yourself, may have come to that place in your life. Where you start to question the “ish” that is shaping your reality. I grew bored with conversations around “Clothes, paid time off, hair styles, celebrities, television etc., etc.” I began to embrace my curiosity about my life and reality. What I started to learn about myself is that my mind had been swimming in too shallow of waters. It was dying. Through time and meditation I began to honor my inner Guru. Prior to this awakening, I had not been in any relationship, situation, or environment that encouraged and supported the deepest part of me. I played small most of the time just to get along. I started spending time alone with myself. for almost two years, I sat quiet and still. I think it’s hard for women to be alone with themselves. Just taking the time to really think about who they are and what they really want. I think we follow our Mother’s blueprint more than we think. If not hers, maybe our circle of friends. I guess if you feel there is something more, I want you to know THERE IS. Like Solange, sang about in the song Cranes In the Sky “I tried to change it with my hair, I tried to sleep it away, I ran my credit card bill up, and thought a new dress would make me feel better.” It’s not the furniture that needs to be re-arranged, the hair color that needs to change, the next summer get away that needs to be planned… it’s God talking to you. Saying it’s time to give up on what you want so I can show you what you deserve. There is a subset of us women that have given up on our imagination and creativity. We tend to convince ourselves that wanting more or asking for more is crazy and unrealistic. People ask me all the time, “Why did you start blogging?” or “What is The Robot Rebel?” I simply say, the life I was getting ready to build, I just changed my mind about it. I threw those plans out the window. Those plans weren’t BIG ENOUGH. I stopped running from the truth. I stopped pretending to be happy and successful in a career that didn’t allow me to flourish with POWER and AUTHENTICITY. I saw me living freely. I started to realize the difference between living with an abundance mindset vs. existing with a shortage mindset. It’s amazing what happens when you start to trust yourself and stop listening to everyone around you who has not challenged the norms. I just started to see me for who I really was and what I really wanted out of life.
I am so thankful to be blessed with my vision, purpose, and the AUDACITY to go for it! To see myself beyond the Cap and Gown, 401K, the wedding gown, dinners, lunches, etc. Not everyone will have the courage or interest to question. Some will be crippled by fear. I understand that. This is why I created The Robot Rebel. I challenge you to listen to what your conversations are with everyone around you. What does your heart say? What does your gut or intuition say? Does it say, I’m intrigued? Does it say I’m bored? Does it bind you to being mediocre? Does the conversation make you fearful or FEARLESS? Are you going after what you want or what you think or know you can get…? There is a difference.